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Vent: What's Wrong With Me?

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I'm so, so confused. I can't stop thinking and it's driving me crazy. I'm so alone most of the time that all I have are the thoughts in my head. And suddenly it's like I can't breathe. There's too much going on and I can't process it all and I'm scared because I can't escape to my thoughts anymore because there's like a million things going on at once in my brain.

I can't think straight, I can't remember what thoughts are true and which are just speculative. I want to run away from my own mind because it's constricting me and I'm just so confused I don't know what to do. I can't remember why I'm depressed but I can but I can't but I just don't know. It's so hard to think it's like my mind is jumping from one thing to the next and it's too much. 

Maybe when I get back on my anti-depression meds I'll be okay again. I don't know I just don't know it's all too jumbled and confusing and I just don't know. It hurts and I can't even cry but I really wanna cry but every time I start I stop and I'm so confused. I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking. I can't focus and I'm not even sure if this is how I really feel or if it's an anxiety attack or what and it's driving me crazy and I just want it to stop. I just want everything to stop so I can calm down and re-adjust and be okay.

Please don't note me or try to talk to me about this... it just makes me even more confused right now. 
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